Ten Reasons Why I Haven’t Written Anything Today
1) I don’t want to get a repetitive strain injury while typing.
2) There’s so much fake news that I can’t trust any research sources, not even my dictionary.
3) The name of my main character turned out to be a vile word in Serbian, so I needed to think of a new one that’s not offensive in any languages.
4) I want to avoid clichés like the plague.
5) I want to avoid old jokes like that one above.
6) Every idea I have has already been done so many times that I’m worried about plagiarising myself.
7) Someone tweeted something so outrageously stupid that my head’s exploded.
8) All the unimportant notifications from Facebook filled my inbox beyond capacity, releasing a tidal wave of spam, drowning me in digital waste.
9) I’m sure I’m coming down with the flu – so I can’t work if I’m seriously ill.
10) I fear that anything that I do write will offend someone somewhere, resulting in a barrage of hate mail, death threats and invitations to join political parties.